Dead loved one
“You are gone now, but in my heart, you live on. I honour you, and I respect you. And one day, when my time is over, I will join you. In the meantime, please look kindly on me while I stay. Please bless me and those around me.”
Constellation Sentences
Conflict between husband and wife, friends or parents.
“Although divided in life, in me, we are always united.”
“You leaving me gave me the space, which I thank you for.”
“I will make something good out of it; what went wrong between us.”
“I have valued our connection, and even though I am now withdrawing, all the good I shall keep and all the good you may keep. And rest I leave, and you can leave. I shall remember you. Thank you. I leave you in peace. I will deal with what is left between us. I keep a place in my heart for you.”
Generational non-inclusion, trauma or entanglement!
“This was too painful for you to see or accept, and you may never be able to do that. But I will be the first generation who can do so. It will stop with you! Please give your blessing!”
To the person who is lonely.
“I have managed to be with myself so far. Therefore, I will manage anything that life throws at me, regardless of whether the society and people that belong to it will support me or not.”
Child to their parents
“Dear Mother and Father. You are my parents, and I am your child. You are the big ones, and I am the small one. You always gave, and I always took; that’s how it should be and shall continue to be.”
“Dear Mother, thank you for not leaving me. Without you, it would have been horrible.”
“Dear Mother and Father, because of you, I exist. You have given me the life, the most precious gift of them all. I thank you for that with all my heart.”
“Dear Mother/Father. I can see now what it cost you. I cannot change it, but I can honour the price you paid for being with me.”
“It is easier for me to stay angry with you than see what you suffered”
“I got too big for my boots. I thought I could look after you. I forgot that you are the big one, and I am the small one.”
Sibling to sibling (or other relatives) who don’t accept a person in the family!
“You are my …. and I am your …. We are the members of the same family. I may need a little time to get used to it.”
“I have the same right to belong to this family as you have. Please bless me and welcome me where I truly belong.”
Rape victim.
“I agree to my life at this price”
“What you’ve done is not permitted to forgive, but the consequences of your actions I will hand back to you, although you too were captured by the forces greater than you.”
Ritual: Take an object and hand back the burden to the perpetrator.”
Acknowledgement of What Is: “I accept you as you are, and I leave the responsibility for your life with you.”
Respect for Order in the Family System: “I honor you as my parents, and I respect the place you hold. I take my rightful place as your child.”
Accepting Parents and Origins: “I accept myself as I am, and I accept you as my parents, the givers of my life.”
Recognition of the Past: “What happened, happened. I let it be in the past, and I take only what strengthens me into the future.”
Reconciliation and Forgiveness: “I give back the pain and the responsibilities that are not mine to carry. I reclaim my own strength and destiny.”
Connection and Belonging: “Even if I didn’t know you, you live on in me, and I honour your place in our family.”
Accepting Life and Moving Forward: “I choose life, with all its challenges and gifts. I step forward with strength inherited from you.”
Honouring the Deceased: “I remember you and honour your place in our family. Your story does not end with me.”
Healing Parent-Child Relationships: “I see you, I thank you for your love and your struggles, and I let you go with love.”
General
“If I had a chance, I’d do it again.”
“I’m more interested in being right than hearing you.”
“Please see me”
“I choose to stay angry with you a little longer.”
“I have remembered you by being angry with you.”
“It is shit, but it’s not as bad as it was.”
“Although it hurts, the truth always heals.”
“Although it really hurt, I survived you.”
“As long as she/he is excluded, it will always affect me.”
“Our family is not big, so we cannot lose anyone.”
“My future success will always have your name on it!”